Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Procrastination Rant

So.. it’s been quite a while since my last rant. For the 2 people who have missed them, my apologies for being totally slack.

Do not be fooled into thinking I’ve just been tootling along, happy as larry (who is larry anyway) blissfully unaware of the many annoying things that are sent to try my patience on a daily, hourly, often minute by minute basis. No.

Here commenceth a number of weeks’ worth of rantings. Some of these are slightly out of date now but I’ll sleep much better at night knowing I’ve sent a particular irritation off into the ether.

It should be noted that it is no small coincidence that I am sat at a table with many (unopened) text books and professional magazines (no.. not “that” professsion) ominously looming over me threatening to bury me alive if I don’t open one of them. The irony is that the chosen subject this time is motivation. I’ll say no more about that.

Where's Wally?

 

We all thought we’d seen the last of the snow for this winter. We’ve had a few positively balmy weeks and I for one had gotten used to not wearing 5 layers of clothing (see previous rant regarding jumper sleeves below coats!). Lambs have been born, or so Countryfile professes, and the Hodsock Snowdrop exhibition (for want of a better word) which  every year, signifies to all us South Yorkshire/Nottinghamshire residents, that spring is only round the corner, is happening as we speak. Now, I can’t profess 100% that this is true, as the superglue which keeps my eyelids closed didn’t melt off until 9.45am this morning (it’s not my fault!!), and I’m happy to think it’s an urban myth,  but apparently it was snowing this morning. I heard it from 3 reliable sources. I am not amused.

Christmas is as far away as ever (thankfully) but I felt I needed to just put a little rant in about it. Specifically wrapping presents. Over the years I have managed to decrease the number of gifts I buy. I have blagged a bad memory, moved country, and the “lost in the post” excuse is a cracker. But being the chatty sociable (between the hours of 4 and 7pm if you’re lucky enough to catch me, and nothing has annoyed me that day) person that I am, I cannot avoid everyone. Also, and I know you don’t give to receive, but  I do like having something to open and if I give nothing out I get nothing back. Anyway, back to my ranting point.  I really hate wrapping presents. But I always forget every year how much I hate it until I start. I bring everything downstairs and set it all out neatly. I make sure I have lots of cellotape and tags and a pen, and that there are no foreign bodies on the carpet to upset the neatness of my wrapping experience. The first gift (and if you’re ever lucky enough to be the recipient of this, well done) looks like this:

Ahh.. pretty first gift of the year

Then I get a bit bored. Eastenders was probably on and Ryan with no shirt on needed my full attention. By gift 4 or 5 they look like

Everyone else's gift

I suppose if I want to have any friends at all it’s a necessary evil. Next year I’m doing a Smithy and wrapping everything in tinfoil. No need for tape or bows, and the presents would be all shiny and glint under the Christmas tree lights.

I have a few irritating people to add to my hate list. Bono (no explanation needed). Anthea Turner (mullet extraordinaire). Steve Wright.

I was listening to Radio 2 (I am a grown up now) the other day and Phil Collins In the Air Tonight was on. When it finished Steve said “that gorilla is so talented.” Now.. how old is that Cadbury’s advert now? (quickly check Google..) 2007. So.. almost 4 years old. And Steve-stuck-in-the-80’s is still referring to it when he plays that song. Sigh. He then played Hurts so Good by John Cougar Mellencamp. Steve referred to him as John Cougar Melonhead. Hilarious! I wonder if that’s why John dropped the Mellencamp part…..

Oh Alice, stop teasing us

Anyway, I’m boycotting Radio 2 in the afternoons. That’ll show them! It’s much safer for other drivers out there trust me. What has amused me lots though is that in my extensive research for this blog, I came across a whole entire forum thread on Digital Spy with lots and lots and lots of people talking about the things that annoy them about Steve Wright. I feel vindicated.. someone needs to start a petition to send to Radio 2. Not me, I can’t be @rsed. But if someone brings me one I’ll happily sign it.

Ok next (getting back into my ranting stride now). Oh yes, one of the most irritating ads on tv at the minute is for Pantene. I love Pantene. I use Pantene. It is my hair product of choice and has been for many years. I like Cat Deeley. I think she’s very beautiful, if erring on the anorexic side, but that’s ok because she’s mostly in America now and everyone knows American cameras add at least a stone to people (right Roseanne?) so she has to decline most of the food she’s offered. I think she’s good craic. However I would happily rip her head off when she does that “swishing” thing. Usually the remote control is on the other side of the room from where I sit to watch tv. But i would compare myself to a lithe gazelle leaping away from the lion who is going to slaughter me mercilessly when that ad comes on. I think it’s the anger that propels me across the room. I really don’t want to be responsible for breaking my landlady’s 468″ tv screen (whatever size it is..). I can’t afford to pay for it. Anyway.. Pantene, please please pull that advert. Cat is asking for people to send in videos of them swishing. Above all Pantene.. PLEASE don’t start showing us clips of the general public swishing. Hopefully one of them will get whiplash doing it and they’ll sue Pantene and the whole thing will be a distant memory.

That'll teach you. No more swishing for you Miss.

There have been a couple of things which have made me happy over the last couple of months. Being Human is back on. I have gained an electric blanket. This makes me happy when I’m freezing my @ss off in bed. I got to see lots of puppies a few weeks ago.

Speaking of puppies. If the council wants us to poop and scoop (although poop isn’t the word I’d use for what landlady’s 6stone dalmation dumps at my feet in the most conspicuous of places.. the pavement shudders), they need to provide more of those red bins. I had to walk over a mile the other night with a nappy bag full of “poop” before I found one of those bins. And I’ll tell you all that nappy bags don’t fully hold the stench.

Why does the George Foreman click so much?? Does anyone else have this issue? Surely it’s got to be a design flaw, that. Is it so when you’re drunk and come home and think Oh I’ll have a  bacon sarnie or a toasted cheese panini (or punani if you have one in Corby) you will not stand the chance of flopping on the sofa, forgetting about it and falling asleep?

Feeling tired now after all this ranting so this is my last topic for today. Why is everything on telly a reality show? The only one worth watching at the minute is Tool Academy which is possibly the most comedy on telly at the minute. Oh what? It’s not a comedy? Oh..

Anyway it’s brilliant. The parting line is “John/Lee/Peter – you’re just a tool. Give us your jacket and get out.” I can’t be bothered explaining the premise for anyone who hasn’t watched it. But it’s worth a watch.

I digress.. possibly the worst reality show  I have stumbled across is one where a load of brides compete against each other to get plastic surgery!!! Granted, most of them need it. But still! What is the world coming to! The episode I saw resulted in the successful contestants from that week having an “injection party” where they all got loaded up with botox. Brilliant.

The saddest thing about this reality show culture is that they’ve turned Masterchef into X Factor. Everyone has a “story” now. “I am a hugely successful, multi millionnaire, city banker but it’s always been my passion to cook, ever since the shell on my boiled egg cracked and I had to scramble it” cue tears and shot of sympathetic wife with her fingers (heavy with gold rings and diamonds) crossed. I am disappointed in John and Gregg for selling out. I’ll still watch it though of course 🙂

Ok that’s it. The pile of books appears to be reproducing. I’ll just make a cup of tea first.. do the hoovering.. take the dog out.. and I’ll be right on it.

 

 

Apprentice Final Rant

Alas, unlike the rest of the Apprentice programme, I have little to rant about in relation to the final. My biggest rant is because the Sports Personality of the Year ran over time! It’s not the same without James Corden. I was waiting for the light relief. There was none. Plus I don’t know that jockey bloke. I was bored. The only saving grace was seeing Freddie Flintoff in a suit.

To the Apprentice. Stella won. I knew she would. I love her. Yey Stella. And that was despite having all the bitchy ones in her team and the ultimate bitchy one Paloma. Beauty isn’t everything. Although I’d happily swap my loving, gentle and witty personality to look like her I have to say!

Master Blagger (Stuart) wasn’t in it. He claims he wasn’t invited to the final and was given no explanation. I reckon he threw a hissy fit at being called a lying little shit by Al and the BBC are allowing him to say that to save face. Regardless, while I was delighted not to see his slappable smug face, it did mean the final lacked my hate figure.

I'm not a one-trick pony, I'm not a 10-trick pony, I'm a whole field of ponies – and they're literally all running towards this job

And Melissa, my 2nd hate figure from the programme was quite quiet and subdued. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

And where is Al’s carbon footprint conscience? 2 cars to take Stella and Chris to the Hotel ?? What’s that about? I doubt they’ll talk tactics in the car. That’s just showing off if you ask me Alan!

Anyway, I loved the girl’s bottle and name Urbon; I thought the boys Prism looked like an overgrown bottle of perfume. And I’d never ask for a Prism and coke in t’pub!

But Stella won and that’s all that matters. Al will give Chris a job anyway sure so it’s all good. And probably Liz. I doubt he’ll give Jamie one, I don’t think he liked Jamie really. It’s ok. Jamie can be a model or something, once he gets some of that spray on hair stuff to fill in the gaps on his head.

I am feeling a bit under the weather today so haven’t got the usual energy for a full on rant, apologies. I don’t even feel well enough to rant about being unwell, that’s how unwell I feel.

I’ll soon be back on form. I’m away to watch Corrie, no doubt soaps will raise my ire sufficiently..

For comedic pleasure here are some Master Blagger quotes..

  • “I’m Stuart Baggs ‘The Brand’ – I’ve got a certain type of charisma.”
  • “I’m alive: there are so many people that aren’t alive or have died, unfortunately. I’m alive; that’s a gift, frankly. I wake up early every morning once I’ve had the sleep I need. I go out and make money.”
  • “Everything I touch turns to sold”
  • “Excuse me Sir, you look like a sausage connoisseur.”
  • “Come on ladies and Gentlemen, fancy a taste of my jellied eels?”
  • “I don’t want any arse-covering. I hate that as a practice. No arse covering – happy days!”

 

 

 

Knobs in shorts and tshirts

I have had my very first request, to rant on someone’s behalf. Clearly I do it so well.

I think I may be able to do this from time to time, providing I agree wholeheartedly on the ranting subject.

On this occasion I do. This subject actually became a Bakebook status of mine a couple of weeks back.

So.. we’re currently in the coldest winter in 100 years? Something like that. Personally I really hate wearing coats and multiple layers. I hate feeling like michelin man, having my jumper sleeves up round my elbows when I put a coat on, getting bad hair from wearing hoods and hats (mind you, that’s not particularly weather dependent, I pretty much have bad hair most of the time). But I realise that I have to bundle myself up or else my fingers/toes/assorted appendages will be in danger of falling off. I may even freeze to death under dramatic circumstances.

The majority of us do this. But not the hardest men in Britain. Not Mr Shorts and TShirt. Most commonly spotted at Tescos.. he knows that’s where most people will be once the first flake of snow falls. Panic buyers of Britain unite! (Does he stick plasters over his nipples so we can’t see that his skin is just normal skin like the rest of us and he is actually freezing his ass off too?)

On his way home from Tescos

I had my own double take moment while doing a normal shop (not a panic buy) at Tescos the other week. There he was, jauntily bouncing up and down the aisles while the rest of us shivered our way round the shop. I had an overwhelming urge to ram my trolley into his smug legs. The only thing stopping me that my reward after shopping was the KFC I was planning (I have to do this when I go shopping, or else I’ll buy everything inappropriate in the supermarket  which is exactly why I spent £62 on bugger all in Morribobs last night) and if I let my violent rage take over there’d be a whole “assault” accusation and the store manager/security would be called, possibly the police. I figured they wouldn’t accept my “perception of distance is off because the cold has iced up my contact lenses” excuse, and I was too hungry for any of that.

Ladies.. I beg of you.. if your husband/boyfriend/dad/son does this, just tell them it’s not big and it’s not clever! Please don’t let them leave the house like this. All they do is irritate the living crap out of the rest of us. Put the shorts in the summer bag in the attic and buy them some trousers. Everyone isn’t as tolerant as me.. the public will turn and there’ll be carnage in the aisles you mark my words.

(Ok.. mini self indulgent rant)  Why is it that when you get a McDonalds drive through, and it’s really busy and they make you go and wait in Bay 1 or 2, do they give you your McFlurry along with your drinks???? It’s SO annoying! You either end up eating it while you wait for them to  bring your order out (which, lets face it, 9 times out of 10, is wrong, and you have to hoke through the bags, letting the heat out and knocking the fries all over the bottom of the bag), which leaves you with no pudding after your carb filled treat dinner which is SO disappointing, or it melts!

McMushy Mess

Half of the enjoyment of eating a McFlurry is mixing all the bits in yourself!

Sort it out McDonalds!

Bobble Headed Freak

So last night I was going to go to bed early (have a bath, watch a film on my laptop, and go to bed – my mantra) because the bluddy Royal Variety Performance was on. Which I absolutely detest. I mean really. And then my housemate pointed out it could be quite good blog material. What a fantastic thing to rant about! I thought she was absolutely right and settled into the sofa to watch it.

I say watch it.. I was on my laptop doing other inconsequential things and it was on in the background. That’s me conceding a lot of my televisual dignity (which is in short supply) I tell you.

As well as being relegated to a Thursday night from the traditional Saturday night primetime slot, the not quite so high up the pecking order Royals in attendance were Camilla and Charles. Substandard to say the least. However, infinitely amusing and doing a fantastic impersonation of Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show. This amused me much more than any of the comedians appearing (apart from Lee Mack.. love Lee Mack).

Kylie was up first looking sickeningly amazing as usual in knee high red leather boots. Cow.

I’m not jealous, not one bit.

Next up was someone who hovers between the number one and number two spots of my hate list, recently overtaken by Louis Walsh, but now that X Factor is over Louis will be off my radar until next summer. Yes, it’s the Bobble Headed Freak aka Michael MacIntyre. I cannot put into words my feelings of distaste and utter disgust that this loud overly-accentuating  wannabe posh pratt has just appeared on the telly every single time I switch it on. Not only does he have his own dreadful show, but he seems to be hosting the Apollo shows too now??!!

Number one on the hate list

I don’t know what irritates me most about him.. his floppy fringe.. his nauseating cheesy smile which makes his beady eyes disappear completely.. his bobbly head (why no company has cashed in yet and made a “bobble head” of him for people’s cars I really really don’t know!! It’s a no-brainer as far as I’m concerned, it’d just be like having a mini me of the patronising little twat in the car with you all the time. Ugh what a horrifying thought).

So I was delighted to see him take the stage in his “jolly” sparkly suit, as you can imagine.

Actually… I have worked out what irritates me most, it’s when he says something which he thinks is hilarious and then he does the cheesy grin and waits for everyone to laugh hilariously. I realise that I am in the minority because people DO seem to laugh!!!! People are clearly desperate for any sort of light relief in these economic times.

He eventually left the stage after brainwashing and deafening everyone, and made way for Paloma Faith and Ray Davies (from the Kinks, yes him with the gap between his front teeth, that’s the one). I like Ray Davies. I love Paloma Faith. But this collaboration.. where do the powers that be come up with these things? This was a bit tragic. She was very over-excited and he appeared to have no knee joints and was swaying from side to side looking scared that Paloma might eat him. Then at the end, at the key change bit, he did some sort of wooden clap every few bars. It was all very weird and I was glad when it was over.

Next was the lowest point of the night. Bobble Headed Freak re-appeared and it seemed that he had taken over the hosting of RVP too, which would mean regular slots throughout the night. Cue a massive sigh and rant from me. I contemplated abandoning the programme, but I’d started so I’d finish dammit. I cried softly until he left the stage.

The acrobat people who won Britain’s Got Talent  were up next. Very very impressive. If you like all that bendy flexibility and flinging each other in the air, and gasping from the audience. Incidentally I don’t mind it, it was very good, fair play to them.

Why is BGT on ITV when the purpose of the show is to get someone to highlight the RVP (what an anacronym filled question eh)? I don’t expect to get an answer to that question but thought I’d float it.

In between all these little acts the camera kept flicking to Statler and Waldorf poshly heckling in the top corner. I think it was a bit unfair to send them out after the student abuse this week. Think of the post traumatic stress!

Lee Mack was up next. Not a bad word to say about Lee. I don’t think LM is particularly gorgeous but I really quite fancy him. And he’s not even my type (non skinny, middle aged, brooding.. see any ITV detective drama really)(except Frost.. David Jason is a bit short)(and Morse.. never fancied him either)(Hugh Bonneville was a middle aged,  non skinny, brooding policeman once – he’s the sort of thing I mean).  This is my “other” type by the way. The other type which is different to the type that Gerrard Butler, Hugh Jackman, James Nesbitt, Bradley Cooper etc etc fall into. The utterly gorgeous and ultimately unattainable type.

Ok after Lee Mack was Adele. I like Adele too. Fantastic voice and only 21! And not your typical anorexic backcombed hair barbie doll singer either. Proper woman. Go on Adele, belt it out.

Then, rather bizarrely, the wonderful Michael Crawford came on, with a Westie dog. I still have no idea really what that was about. He was introducing the Dorothy who won the BBC Andrew Lloyd Webber thingy last year. I mean seriously? Michael Crawford? Distinguished actor, star of stage and screen, award winning children’s author?? #shaking my head in disappointment#

So Dorothy did her bit blah blah and the dog did his bit woof woof.

Then N Dubz came on. Mr Housemate amusingly piped up “I’m sure Charles and Camilla are loving this.

Russell Watson and some ballet people were up next. More flexibility of limbs, and Russells lungs. Show offs.

Some Geordie comedian doll (norn irish word for girl/woman/bird) did a bit of stand up. I didn’t have high hopes, but she was very funny actually. Not a lot of women can successfully get away with stand up. I’d look out for her again, if I hadn’t been ranting about the Bobble Headed Freak and had actually heard her name. Oh well..

Then Subo came on and made Lou Reed cry lots by singing Perfect Day. She probably made Statler and Waldorf happy though. They looked smiley (I say smiley.. more of a grimace from the pair of them really, but they showed teeth once Subo had been on and looked as though their ticket price was worth it).

Jack Whitehall next. He is another one who’s just appeared and everyone wets themselves over. I don’t get it.

Remember earlier I was commending Adele for not being anorexic with backcombed hair? Barbie Girl Cheryl Cole mimed her new ballad-y number next. Of course Cheryl is beautiful. I mean that sincerely, she is absolutely gorgeous. But when you’re that thin you shouldn’t wear a dress that has bits cut out so you can see ribs! Nothing a few pastie baps couldn’t sort out (norn irish speciality.. heart attack in your hand).

Waldorf leant over at this point and asked Statler who Cheryl is..clearly not X Factor fans.Or maybe she just looks smaller in real life and he didn’t recognise her. Who knows.

Next up were some Chelsea Pensioners. (I’m not going near this one with a barge pole, even I know not to slag off patriotic oaps or I’ll have the ire of all of England at my door)

Some dancing on ice bloke.. think I went to make tea at that point  or to cry some more, can’t remember.. zzzzzzzzz

Lots of people and a medley from The Miserables. I jest. I love the music from Les Miserables. I just think its an amazing show and shouldn’t be reduced to cramming half the cast onto the Palladium’s wee stage and doing a MEDLEY!! (not a fan of a medley.. see next year’s X Factor notes). One of the Jean Valjean’s was a chubby, middle aged, brooding type though so I stuck with it. Also I could sing along. Always a good thing for me (not for others).

At the point that Jamie Cullum and Rumer came on and sang some dirge I was losing the will to live. I’m sure whatever it was was very good, I wasn’t listening at all. Jamie Cullum still looks like Eddie Munster. That was my main observation. His head is more square than Eddie’s though.

John Bishop came on. Bless him, he tries to be funny. He was brilliant in Skins. Should have stuck to acting John.

Then “The Man” rang and thank god I had an excuse to miss the rest of the show.

I was very tired and grumpy today and it wasn’t worth that I can tell you.

 

 

 

In happier news today my Simon’s Cat mug came!!

Tea drinking receptacle extraordinaire

Today is almost over

So.. bed soon.. thank god!!

Groggily dragged myself out of bed this morning because, not only did I have to go to work, but I had to take the Skodamobile in for it’s MOT and it was absolutely bogging (norn irish for very very dirty). I have tried really hard to get it washed this week but all the car washes that I went to were closed because of snow build up?? So it wasn’t my fault!! I had to leave it for Pete (pete.. resident car mechanic. I pay him a standing order every month to keep my car on the road. I don’t really.. but I might as well! He does something to it every bloody month!) so I left a nice note to say sorry for it being bogging.

So.. I got a lift into work and all was good. Got a cup of tea and turned my computer on. Which promptly turned itself off again. I tried again. It wasn’t having any of it. I felt it’s pain, I don’t enjoy waking up either, but I was on limited time this morning and had a to-do list as long as your arm. Anyway, after half an hour of this on-off thing we deduced that it was properly buggered. I suddenly worried about all the pictures of cats in clothes, Richard Armitage, Hugh Jackman, Gerrard Butler, Jimmy Nesbitt, Bradley Cooper etc etc  photos I’d been downloading and printing off for my “productivity inspiring” wall behind my desk. (It’s management speak ok!)

So anyway. I couldn’t use my computer so thought I’d do other work instead. But I’d left the keys to both my drawers with the mechanic….

I was slightly frustrated, and on only one cup of tea, you can imagine the form I was in.

I got over all that when I had to leave the office to do out and about things. Went to Doncaster and miraculously found a parking space straight away which, a week before Christmas, is no mean feat in Donny. And THEN a really nice lady nipped out of her car and gave me her parking ticket and said there’s an hour left. I was chuffed. Of course for a change I had actually remembered to get change out of my cow money box as I knew I’d be parking. But nonetheless, saved me £1.10 so happy days.I quickly looked to check and it was something and 59 minutes and the ticket ran out at something and 58 minutes so pretty much bang on an hour.

Came back with a minute or 2 to spare and saw the telltale red plastic envelope on my windscreen. My brain didn’t compute. I literally looked at it and looked at my watch 4 times. Then I looked at the ticket the benevolent soul had passed on. It ran out at the time she gave me it!! Now, either she is more of a bimbo than me, or she is just evil. Either way I am sure karma will get her!

I wonder what sort of payback being the cause of someone getting a ticket would be. I have asked the room this question. My housemate/landlady has offered “squashed by a tram.” I said that’s not proportionate is it really so she then offered up “leprosy.” I wouldn’t want her to die.. necessarily. Well.. not now, I’m less angry than before.

In other, better news, my car passed MOT, after he put 2 bulbs in it. Yey for the Skodamobile saving the day, and my mood, and those around me.

Oh and mr landlady had the sterling idea of having Pizza Hut for tea which was good.

I was going to have a bath, specifically so I could avoid the Royal Variety Performance, but what a fantastic ranting opportunity watching this drivel gives me.

I’ll be back later :o)

 

 

 

ps.. I’m still waiting on my Simon’s Cat mug!! Bloody snow.

So long Master Blagger

Tragically.. Stuart Master Blagger Baggs, the Brand.. did not make it into the final 2.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha bad luck matey

Took Al long enough to see through you, and of course it took Dame Margaret the Great to show him the light, but at least he got there in the end.

Can I just point out at this time, because I don’t want it to be misinterpreted in any way.. I call him Master Blagger, not because he is a master at anything, but because he is barely out of puberty.

I was very excited about tonight’s show. I love the interviews. It is my very very favourite part of the process (if you have stumbled upon this, and don’t watch the Apprentice, don’t read any further, this will all be total gibberish). I love the uncomfortableness of it, the crawling, the backtracking, the defensiveness, and the many different shades of red even the coolest candidates can turn. Apart from Stella, because she is awesome. Stella to win!

DM the G was fantastic, oh how we miss her. Tonight was the most words Karen Brady has strung together in all the shows put together. I thought she was only there as some business totty but apparently she has noticed things, and she went up in my estimations when she quite vehemently defended Stella. Plus she had quite a nice green dress on.

Claude (he’s the chubby looking interviewer who I find a little bit attractive, which disturbs me) was incredibly rude, but it was directed at Master Blagger so that’s ok, but normally, refusing to shake someone’s hand is the height of dismissiveness. If he’d done it to Jamie I’d have shouted at the telly!

Anyway I did a proper cheer when Master Blagger got fired. He really is an irritating little sh!t. I cannot mean that more sincerely. I’m sorry to swear, I know its not big and it’s not clever, but this is the level Stuart reduces me to.

I have pretty much disliked Joanna the whole way through the series, with her bolshie-talking-over-everyone ways. But then I watched the programme all about the final 5 and she did grow on me. Tonight I actually felt sorry for her when she was fired. I do think the show would be much better with some apt music. Like “bye bye baby” or “hit the road jack”.

Not much else to say about tonight’s Apprentice except the best 2 got through I think.

Also, how can Chris have such blue eyes, and Dame Margaret the Great too. Are they photoshopped during editing?? It is very distracting.

I didn’t watch any other telly tonight. Oh, a bit of an old Top Gear, but other than Richard Hammond’s hair (looking more like Ritchie Sambora every day) there’s no ranting to be done as TG is great.

Richard Hammond                                                                                                  Ritchie Sambora

Now onto some minor irritations that I’d just like to document:

Minor irritation number 1: I may have mentioned that I love tea. It is one of my most favourite things in the world ever. I can’t even be civil in the mornings until I’ve had a cup of tea, and often it takes up to 3 cups before I can carry out a whole conversation. Anyway.. a minor irritation is when you get to the bottom of a delicious brew and realise you’ve left the teabag in it. What is it about that that makes me want to just gag (except that I’d waste precious tea)?? It is so vile.

Minor irritation number 2: Local news. I hate local news. I hate local newsreaders, local reporters, local people. I hate how patronising it is. I hate that I sat up tonight because I knew there’d be a report on Royal Mail’s delivering-before-Christmas pledge, and I want to know where the hell my Simon’s Cat mug is, which was dispatched over a week ago. Anyway it told us that on average we send 75 Christmas cards through the post each year PER PERSON!! I don’t know anyone who sends 75 cards. I sent precisely 8 cards through the post, to people over at home. 8. I don’t think I know 75 people. If we assume there are a few people like me who send less than 10, that means there must be people who send over 100 cards through the post. 100 cards, even 2nd class is £32.00!! For a card which will be thrown in the bin.

Minor irritation number 3: Why do I wake up sometimes 3 minutes before the alarm goes off? I think I can go back to sleep and snuggle in and the alarm goes off, with it’s pretty guitar strumming repetitiveness. and THEN, why can’t I find the snooze button on it and it gets louder and louder. I really hate mornings…

Minor irritation number 4: Why was I able to get car insurance this year for less than £250 when my current insurers quoted me over £600 for all the same conditions? I’m not going further with this one as I’m trying very hard not to swear.

Ah.. rant over for today. Sleep now.

 

Random rant

So.. today my ranting is not particularly directed at anyone in particular.

For no reason whatsoever, I just woke up on the wrong side of bed and got increasingly more angry as the morning went on. I was angry at colleagues, angry at anyone who dared to ring me, angry at having to make a cup of tea (and tea is in my top 5 favourite things of all time). I actually did a little jumping up and down tantrum at one point. Friends on Facebook were cowering with fear at my anger and venom.

Then my friend Maddy gave me 3 Quality Street and I calmed down.

The moral of the story is if I seem a little aggitated, give me chocolate (preferrably Cadbury’s but I’ll eat anything really..)

That is all.